Built an empire in a zoo
Be careful what seeds you try to bury, some seeds only grow in darkness--
Built an empire in the zoo
In a position with family, coming from a place —many never make it out from
Surprised at the outcome?
They’ll never know, nor sincerely care, they simply —were not there
Calculating all I could go without became profitable with time
Profiting in all that escapes the common eye, requiring a second look
Every sabotage, excuse, or jealousy active against me, I should write a book
The focus was foundation and roots
Grateful for the opportunity granted beyond my comprehension
Aligning with faith —while many seek attention
It’s never been important to act for gain, acknowledgement, or credit
If I stacked my truths up next to yours I’d bet it all, could you?
With all the deceit I’ve seen right through?
With all the back stabs as proof, evil appears despite all that you do
Built a home from a house
A house that many left my mother in alone, I was guilty also, chasing people through phones
Couldn’t leave that substance alone
What’s your excuse now? I’ve been more than clean
Learning to live, exceptionally me
I have arrived, still arriving, and continuously becoming me, did you believe my progress ended at the limitations of your envy?
I bridged that gap of inclusion, regardless of the backs turned on me at my worst
Can’t say I was first, but I’m far from an outlined print of a shirt
The many that used to hurt me
The effort I put in used to be exhausting
Almost appeared like my family's goal, as a collective —was to exhaust me
The conversations and rumors you’d spread, the non seekers of truth, whose ears believed all the lies they were fed, while I remained 100 proof
A house became a home through compassion, discipline, along with pillars instilled in me from parents at an early age
Many of the lessons resurfaced when I hit pitfalls, and it was necessary to turn the page
I’ve attempted to mend wounds, heal trauma, share what helped got me here
Ungrateful that I’ve surpassed my fear?
The disdain, the resentment, the uncoordinated attempts at ruining the progress made
To think I’ve made it this far, observe the family, and it’s “I” who am ashamed
I never count anyone out, hope is NOT lost
Just sharing what life’s been like, and a bit of what it cost
It’s been fascinating being granted the opportunity to grow closer to those who’ve wished the worst on me and the folks
The elevated pitches in voices, the deception as you choke, blame me?
For doing as I said I would?
For doing as I say I will?
Adaptive to the environment, just as the streets and faith designed, I don’t judge your lives, do you feel secure while judging mine?
I’d have to admit I’m often living sublime, embraced by divine —you hate that I’m learning to live patient and kind?
I was handed these tools, they’ve been refined and crafted over a decades duration
I couldn’t avoid all the punches, but currently resist many of the unnecessary temptations
I’ve been present, I’ve been available especially when you’d ridicule, wished you well, and never hated based on what you couldn’t do
Encouraged you, stood up for you, more than a few times within the family dynamic — in order to paint an authentic picture
I’m no saint by any means, but the previous 4 years, compared to that previous 10 years, more closely resembles scripture
Claiming to know God, but remaining a fraud, clinging to all for many to see, just remember I’ve been there for you, but now I’m prioritizing fam-of-me
You could’ve told me years ago I’d be where I’m at today —wouldn’t have been able to believe it
Without anyone’s company or counsel, without any love, without a significant other, losses of brothers, and distant from my father and mothers —I used to envy those 6ft under?
Never expected this grace, breath in my lungs, blood in my veins, boldness fitting well on this face
I’ll continue fulfilling this purpose, evolving minus the characters
No better than anyone, nor less than anyone either —simply existing, hurt yourself most, you’ll be left as the only one listening
Don’t tell me it’s me you’ve been missing
Turned a house to a home
You spit in my face
Spit on my faith and laugh
Upset because I was who I said I was?
Upset because you can’t hide behind the drugs that I already “took"?
All I’ve done is taken on more responsibility
Rise to each occasion like a solitude sort of symphony
I mean all you can say is I have no money, but turned a house to a home, now isn’t that funny?
It cost everything but funds to establish these connections
Digging beneath the soil NOT depending on surface manipulation
PS I forgot to mention, through the trials have been nestled the greatest lesson
A richness in how we treat ourselves and the value that you possess
The worlds you can create without a dime and penniless
None the less I’ve been spent, I’ve been without company to admire such change
You continue looking at me, wasting time with your weightless blame —contain me?
In purpose I feel no longer tamed
In comparison to my former self we are NOT one in the same, paradoxically
Shame that you’ve counted on past behaviors
Especially after considering you as a priority, don’t worry I won’t mention the favor
My rewards unseen, I’ll set the table —in hopes others arrive
Just know without mirrors your pain will never subside
Time will be your greatest reminder of ignoring your insides
Attempting to gossip to destroy my reputation?
Sulking in desperation?
Microscope on me but steadily dismiss my elevation?
I won’t entertain your reparations
A few reminders for the onward approach, sincerely hopeful your behavior outlives your visions of coach
Provoke me because you believe you understand through some words that I’ve wrote?
I’ll remain the fire you continue to stoke
Undermine my adaptability because I’m fluid like smoke, in the 15th round while standing stern like some ancient white oak
Listen
Silence doesn’t equate to dislike
Boundaries don’t translate to disrespect
Disagreements don’t make anyone an enemy
Kindness most certainly isn’t a weakness
Forgiveness can be given beyond an arms length
A plain face can harbor internal strength, especially when learning restraint
And here I thought we could relate on the growing pains, instead your vision was predictable, wanting me inside a frame, all while masking your aim
Notice I haven’t found anyone to blame?
Now observe the person I’ve became —
