Are you right where you belong?
Does “X” not Mark the spot?
An array of pitfalls
Misery breeds comedy
Laughter disguises disgust
Selfishly in my rut
Embracing vices for crutch
It appeared before, the sun avoided me
But the gloom would follow near, even indoors
The most adventure ever felt, was those EMTs raising me off the floor
Back when dancing at the devil’s door
Two sides of different coins
Both administered for what I considered medicinal purpose
One for sleepless nights and the other for sleep filled days
Chasing many dragons without ever much to say
Wild rides, carnival cruises, consenting to my bruises
Hefty amounts of trauma like bread crumbs left behind
No need for sympathy
I understand the bed I’ve made
Digging graves of debt with every dollar ever paid
Voices following my deaf ears
So many connections unanswered
Scene upon scene while emptiness swallowed me
Counting on many would surely suppress me being me
Have you done that?
Placed others above yourself?
Only to wish them well?
Only to have that weapon loaded while lying on the shelf?
Expecting a cure, developed by those whom you trust
Judgmental yes they sit
Seemingly concerned I admit
But truly dismissive at their core
It was such confusion that left me exploring
Revealing another door
An unknown future, ready for what’s in store
