Thinking to myself:
People outta stay clear from me. I know plenty people feel that way and our universe as we know it is suffering from an enormous wave of negativity. Been going on for years now. I know you recognize it. We all do, just nobody really ever says anything. Each day dying inside. Prying at whatever allows us to survive another day. For the sake of what? To be unhappy? To be unfulfilled? Do literally the same exact shit everyday. With the same mindset and attitude. Consecutively over time. Mad hatter ain’t it? I feel something of monumental proportions stirring inside me, something ancient, rendering me thankful for lying dormant for all these years. A point of no return on the rise? Who will be the example? Will it be those that follow? Will it be those within my home? Will it be some random civilian? What might I do to complete the task? What lengths might I go through in order to make one point clear? The harm one could cause in one act, my goodness. The feet I could cover in 24 hours. I ponder on. I wonder. Will we be focusing on being doctoral? Mmm, or perhaps a more violent and unforgivable approach. Are we thinking, Psycho, 1960’s Alfred Hitchcock? American Psycho? Or American Psycho 2 (despite being played by Mila Kunis).
Time will be the greatest truth teller. Gosh, you know us, always making spectacles of everything. Could never harm himself and just leave it at that. Always had to rain hellfire and brimstone making for a Van Gogh-esque appeal to our newly crowned masterpiece for all to see. Who might we be at that point in time?
Comical the stench of my own fear from years ago. A sickness it is, but undeniably necessary none the less. Thankfully, many reside within this meat chassis. Never quite know who you’re getting. As I picked myself off of the canvas of life after being knocked down for the thousandth time, I believe we had a choice. Between destroying each and every person who sought out to destroy me both intentionally and unintentionally throughout the course of my lifetime, or, choose grace. After careful consideration, observing it all, it only made sense to offer to my surroundings what the universe offered me. Grace. Throughout the course of my previous lifetimes, much in what I was involved with included a form of harm, a gamble if you will —poisoning the only body that I have, yet here I still was. Can’t speak on how this new (clean) lifestyle suites me but I sure wouldn’t mind spending the remainder of my life carrying on in this direction.
“I’d spent my whole life only recognizing my lucky breaks after they were gone.”
- Raymond King
The Accountant
Not anymore Ray King. Welcome to a bit of who we used to be. Seems rough around the edges I’m sure, but we’re all in a position of refinement, regardless of our position in life. Wouldn’t you say?
How can I blame life?
In life, things work for you
In life, things work out in your favor
Also in life, things don’t work out for you
Also in life, things don’t work out in your favor
But pay close attention
When things don’t work out for you, things are still working out for you
When things don’t work out in your favor, things are still working in your favor
So it raises the question, when is life never “not” aligning with you for your benefit?
Whether you’re aware of this phenomena or not is another matter altogether.
The universe, whether recognizable in your life or not, is always, in any case, under any conditions, providing for your greater well being around the clock. If you let her.
Food for thought the next time you get yourself down, and it’s just you and her around.
Sure there’s an inverse to everything stated above, and I’m absolutely not dismissing that tragedy is very real, but might I ask, “With all you’ve been through, the mountains you’ve scaled, the oceans you’ve swam across to be where you’re at today, haven’t you ever gave thought to how those experiences have shaped you, refined you, transformed you into what you are today? Alive and well. Life served you through it all. Possibly, to prepare you for future events to come.
When was the last time you gave thanks for being provided with the opportunity of life?
How might you use that time moving forward, considering it’s temporary after all?
Little show and tell about change (unreleased):
Change is hard. It gets difficult. You can see me through your lens sitting in an old familiar place. I no longer reside there. Rough because I always figured it was “I” who could change enough to compensate for the lack of changes others were willing to commit to within this family. I’ve realized despite what’s changed within me, you still remain blind to the progress. Comical really. I understand now it’s because you haven’t changed enough to simply acknowledge the growth that’s taken place within me. How could you notice? Shame. Because you all are family.
-CharlieBoyy